tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10298997992940685612012-02-16T11:52:46.352-06:00bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.comBlogger101100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-61879783631395521422009-07-26T21:02:00.005-05:002009-07-26T23:52:05.038-05:00

I'm sorry for the long stretch without an update. There was a lot of work I had to do before I went on my glamorous vacation. It's not all lolling and COPS-watching around the House of Bingo, you know. I didn't have to do all the housework by myself, of course, because I've got these two hardworking kids to help out. (Note to the childfree reader: that is a joke.)Scott is so dedicated to

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-19220166867788107422009-07-22T09:31:00.002-05:002009-07-22T12:15:47.010-05:00

The gang members on his beat never gave Little Officer Timmy the respect he deserved until the day they saw him strangle his own K9 partner in cold blood.Mulroney was bitter about his appointment to the Curfew Enforcement Task Force.I like my cops the same way I like my coffee: hot, black and with a couple of doughnuts on the side.His plan to infiltrate the crime ring was foiled when the

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-82435147843411697412009-07-20T22:32:00.003-05:002009-07-21T00:36:05.897-05:00

I'm getting a little journey proud1 about my upcoming weekend away from home, which is a very rare occurrence for me. Okay, I did go on an overnight trip to my older son's wedding three hours away in May, so technically I suppose this second night away from Mom and home in one calendar year makes me a bit of a world-weary traveling sophisticate. I've hired the same caregiver who stayed with Mom

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-3867224798015950372009-07-20T15:54:00.004-05:002009-07-20T17:03:12.432-05:00

I've been looking at real estate listings online and gawking at the way other people decorate. Someone posted a link to this house at my favorite forum, and it reminds me of my grandmothers' houses.Nana's house looked exactly like that, every inch covered in fancy geegaws as "purty as dog doodoo in snow," as she once complimented a manicure I'd given her. She had huge collections of snowglobes

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-65832291008103701972009-07-18T20:20:00.003-05:002009-07-18T21:50:48.688-05:00

Not so long ago, I used to cook varied, balanced meals from scratch every day. Granted, they weren't healthy or anything -- I have always cooked like a southern woman from the '60s, so there was no shortage of fat and salt and vegetables cooked until the vitamins gave up and moved out. Still, my family always got a meat, a starch, two vegetables and a hot bread. That was back when I gave a

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-17648900583850683672009-07-16T22:18:00.003-05:002009-07-16T23:11:28.680-05:00

I wish you'd get off the crack and raise these grandchildren.I wish you'd shopped around for a nicer nursing home.I wish you hadn't been knocked up when I was running for vice president.This is a lovely take on the traditional Balding, Naked, Tattooed Skank with Unicorn theme.Mmmmm, Jesus on the halfshell.You know the kids swore they'd feed and water and walk the dragon every day.If I ever become

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-23826581801760660462009-07-14T00:05:00.002-05:002009-07-14T00:39:36.338-05:00

It's not that I'm not enjoying blogging, it's that I fear I'm actively dying.Mom woke up at 11:00, ready for her late night snack. I sat her up on the side of the bed, brought her something to eat and drink, and sat on the only chair I have room for in her bedroom, the potty chair. While she has her snack, we either watch television or do what we did tonight, collaborate on the NYT crossword

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-4977686700092188962009-07-13T17:40:00.002-05:002009-07-13T17:46:25.199-05:00

One of the visiting nurses was here this afternoon, and we discussed my mother's condition and her current drug regimen. I took her off her blood pressure medicine and her hormone replacement therapy last year. Her blood pressure's great. It was never very high anyway. After her stroke, one side of her face drooped for several months so she couldn't smoke, and she didn't enjoy her nightly

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-26939210406508082132009-07-11T21:25:00.000-05:002009-07-11T22:36:44.009-05:00

I live in a little tiny hick town in the little tiny hick state of Arkansas. Everybody in Arkansas is ashamed of our state's backwoods reputation. We all share an inferiority complex and wish that the rest of the country understood that while we're admittedly unsophisticated, we're not all ignorant inbred hillbillies. Some of us are ignorant inbred Delta rednecks, for instance.So this weekend

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1029899799294068561.post-8242207346981346372009-07-11T13:47:00.000-05:002009-07-11T20:15:20.983-05:00

I waited around all afternoon yesterday for the stupid new exterminator who called to say he was coming and then never showed up. He came this morning instead, and I was in short pajamas and couldn't find a robe. Picture a lavender stretchy knit shopping bag stuffed with cantaloupes and loose marshmallows. Serves him right.We have to break in a new bug-killing moron every other month or so now

bing-ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04368668398062945225noreply@blogger.com11